Hi everyone! Just me again back to update on camp. We are officially done with week three at camp, and camp #2 is done. Music camp was amazing. The kids were awesome and it was great to see how God moved throughout their lives. It was our longest camp from Saturday to Saturday and we were all glad to see it come to an end, but it was a great week and now we have a whole day off tomorrow to recover.
During the week I developed quite the awesome upper respiratory problem, also know as a cold. I am still feeling pretty icky but have a day to sleep and get caught up on some necessary rest.
During this summer we are focusing on the fruits of the Spirit and the one that has been hitting me a lot lately has been patience. He is constantly and slowly developing this fruit in my life, but it has been a very slow and somewhat painful process. Patience is definitely something that is tested when you are working with kids at a summer camp, but I believe that He has put me in those specific instances that have developed that in me.
At the end of this coming week they are taking us on a four-day staff retreat over the 4th of July. I am excited to have that time to get out and have fun with the staff away from camp.
So, all in all camp is going well. There have been a few bumps in the road, but God is greater. We certainly do worship a mighty and awesome God. :)
Have a great day, everyone! God bless you all!
25 June 2011
17 June 2011
Camp. Week Dos.
Camp 1 is done. Service Extension Teen Camp went SO WELL!!! My cabin was incredible and I had some really good discussions with some of the campers during devotions every night. We got to build boats out of cardboard and race them in the pool, witnessed an amazing show by a family that can ride unicycles and spin basketballs, had a reptile handler come in and show us some snakes and lizards and had an awesome campfire last night. What a great week and what a great opportunity to speak life into the lives of these young people!
We have a little less than 24 hours off and then we start eight days of Music Camp. This is one of our two long camps for the summer.
So far, camp life is good. Our first camp went very well and the staff seems to be a very cohesive group. I am so honored to be working with the staff that is here for the summer and am excited to see what God is going to do in the lives of each person here.
So far, so good. :)
And if you get the chance, read Joshua 1:9. It's pretty amazing. God bless friends!
We have a little less than 24 hours off and then we start eight days of Music Camp. This is one of our two long camps for the summer.
So far, camp life is good. Our first camp went very well and the staff seems to be a very cohesive group. I am so honored to be working with the staff that is here for the summer and am excited to see what God is going to do in the lives of each person here.
So far, so good. :)
And if you get the chance, read Joshua 1:9. It's pretty amazing. God bless friends!
12 June 2011
Camp- Week One Done
Hi everyone! We are now officially done with our first week of camp. It has been a great week of orientation with lots of activities. We have done low ropes, hiking at Banning, field games and a plethora of training with CPR/First Aid, Safe From Harm and other things. What a great way to start!
Everyone seems to be getting along really well so far.
Right now part of the camp staff is working on a rules video and it is hilarious. When it is done and posted, I will post it to Facebook for your viewing enjoyment. We have a very talented staff and I am super excited to work with them this summer! :)
We start our first camp on Monday with Service Extension Teen Camp. This is one of my favorites and I am excited to meet new campers and see some familiar faces as well. What an honor to be able to serve in this capacity this summer. Pray that God would be glorified in all we do!
Our first official day off is June 26th. I am already contemplating coming home that Saturday night and attending church on Sunday, but I have to see how I feel after music camp. It would be fun to come home and see everyone, though.
Anyway, all is well here at Northwoods Camp. He has us all here for a specific plan and purpose and it will be exciting to see that revealed throughout the summer. I already broke my "no Facebook" rule so I will be posting this to Facebook.
Until I have the chance to write again, have a great week or two friends! May Christ be exalted in all you do! :)
Everyone seems to be getting along really well so far.
Right now part of the camp staff is working on a rules video and it is hilarious. When it is done and posted, I will post it to Facebook for your viewing enjoyment. We have a very talented staff and I am super excited to work with them this summer! :)
We start our first camp on Monday with Service Extension Teen Camp. This is one of my favorites and I am excited to meet new campers and see some familiar faces as well. What an honor to be able to serve in this capacity this summer. Pray that God would be glorified in all we do!
Our first official day off is June 26th. I am already contemplating coming home that Saturday night and attending church on Sunday, but I have to see how I feel after music camp. It would be fun to come home and see everyone, though.
Anyway, all is well here at Northwoods Camp. He has us all here for a specific plan and purpose and it will be exciting to see that revealed throughout the summer. I already broke my "no Facebook" rule so I will be posting this to Facebook.
Until I have the chance to write again, have a great week or two friends! May Christ be exalted in all you do! :)
10 June 2011
No more Facebook???
Hey kids. I am now at camp for the summer and when I have time I will be updating from here. Not on Facebook.
I have decided that Facebook is way too distracting when I am here at camp. I can't be here and back home all at once. My mind can't be pulled in that many directions.
However, please be in prayer. Specifically for:
1) That camp staff would continue to bond as well as we have been
2) That the kids would feel the very real love of Jesus as they enter this camp
3) That our hearts and minds would be here and not elsewhere
4) That it would be a good, positive, God-centered summer
5) For other friends who are traveling and being light to others during the summer
6) For God to be the center of everything we do
A good camp quote:
"I like Jon Foreman."
"I like George Foreman. He made my cooking experience easier." -Stevan Crowell
Anyway, thanks for the prayers everyone. I just pray that God would be glorified this summer and that lives would be changed radically in Jesus. I pray that would happen not only for the campers but for the staff as well.
Thanks everyone! I will see you in August. :)
I have decided that Facebook is way too distracting when I am here at camp. I can't be here and back home all at once. My mind can't be pulled in that many directions.
However, please be in prayer. Specifically for:
1) That camp staff would continue to bond as well as we have been
2) That the kids would feel the very real love of Jesus as they enter this camp
3) That our hearts and minds would be here and not elsewhere
4) That it would be a good, positive, God-centered summer
5) For other friends who are traveling and being light to others during the summer
6) For God to be the center of everything we do
A good camp quote:
"I like Jon Foreman."
"I like George Foreman. He made my cooking experience easier." -Stevan Crowell
Anyway, thanks for the prayers everyone. I just pray that God would be glorified this summer and that lives would be changed radically in Jesus. I pray that would happen not only for the campers but for the staff as well.
Thanks everyone! I will see you in August. :)
30 May 2011
The Ever Changing
The changing of the seasons
The changing of the tides
The changing of this moment
Change always by and by
Ever moving forward
Constant moving beyond
Never staying the same
Never for very long
Life just keeps on pushing
Keeps on running, keeps on track
Things lost in the process
Things one can't get back
Ever lost in motion
Lost in moment, lost in thought
Ever seeking seconds
Running after what is sought
Don't you ever wish?
Ever pray, ever hope?
Ever want time just to slow down
Just long enough to cope?
Just one more day with a loved one
One more second with a friend
A few more moments with your dear ones
A little more time before the end
Just a little breathing room
A life less filled with things
Time to just be in the moment
A time to stand and sing
Praising God the Father
Raising weary hands
Reaching out for rescue
Begging for strength to stand
Knowing help is coming
It is here, it is now
Knowing He stands with you
Even when you don't know how
Change is a coming
It is constant, it is near
But change is not so scary
When you have your Savior here
28 May 2011
He Only Takes The Best
"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day." -Psalm 46:1-5
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day." -Psalm 46:1-5
In the past two weeks, my Uncle Kenny lost his battle with liver cancer and passed away last Tuesday. My dear friend Natalie's mom passed away this afternoon. It has been a hard two weeks all around.
It has got me thinking so much lately about life and death. How quickly our loved ones are gone and how much we take for granted. My heart aches for Natalie as I have also lost a parent. It is hard and my heart goes out to her. My heart also goes out to my cousins who now have to deal with their dad's absence and the void that is left there.
My prayers and my thoughts are with all of you tonight who have experienced loss at any level. You are not alone. Others mourn and grieve with you. God is embracing you in strong arms to bring you comfort and peace. His heart aches with you and He cries for you. He feels this all as deeply as you do and He wants you to know tonight that He knows and He understands.
Will you let Him in?
I received this poem in an e-mail on the anniversary of my mom's passing and thought I would share it with you. God bless you tonight and be comforted by the love that can come only from the One who loves you best.
"He Only Takes The Best"
God watched you as you suffered, and knew you had your share.
He gently closed your weary eyes and took you in His care.
He gently closed your weary eyes and took you in His care.
Your memory is our keepsake, with that we will never part.
God has you in His keeping, we have you in our hearts.
God has you in His keeping, we have you in our hearts.
Nothing could be more beautiful than the memories we have of you.
To us you were someone special. God must have thought so too.
To us you were someone special. God must have thought so too.
All our lives we shall miss you, as the years come and go,
but in our hearts you will live forever. Because we love you so.
but in our hearts you will live forever. Because we love you so.
God saw you were getting tired, and a cure was not to be.
So He put His arms around you and whispered "Come with Me".
So He put His arms around you and whispered "Come with Me".
With tearful eyes we watched you suffer and fade away.
Although we loved you dearly, you were not meant to stay.
Although we loved you dearly, you were not meant to stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hard- working hands to rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best!
God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best!
10 May 2011
Camp Is Coming
It's Tuesday. A normal Tuesday like any other. I have a little break in between my Title 1 kids and I have a few moments to think ahead at what summer holds. It has been on my mind constantly since YATEC concluded.
Camp.
Oy.
Don't get me wrong, I am VERY excited about going back to camp for the summer. I am excited to see friends, to be back at camp itself and to see children radically changed because of the saving power of Jesus Christ. It is going to be an impactful summer and I am stoked about what God is going to do through all of us as we minister to the lost and hurting kids of the Salvation Army.
I am concerned that I am not prepared. I definitely was not prepared for what happened last summer. It was an amazing summer but I came back a jumbled up mess of emotions. I closed myself off from friends and alienated myself from everyone else. It was not a good way to come home.
I am PRAYING that I am more prepared for this year. I know more of what I am stepping into. I have a better idea of the challenges that face all of us as we start another year of camp counseling at Northwoods.
Dear Lord, please help me to lead effectively, know when to get out of Your way and come home more peaceful and less anxious. Help me to stand up against those things that brought me down last year and to stand on Your Truth, Your love and Your joy through any and all situations. Help me to reach out and utilize the amazing support system You have placed around me this year. God, You are amazing. Please help me to honor You in the best way I know how and to continue to honor You as I bring these experiences home with me in August. You know the plans You have for me and I am trusting and believing in Your will for my life. Thank You, Jesus, for being my rock, my strength and my portion. Amen.
"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:1-8
Camp.
Oy.
Don't get me wrong, I am VERY excited about going back to camp for the summer. I am excited to see friends, to be back at camp itself and to see children radically changed because of the saving power of Jesus Christ. It is going to be an impactful summer and I am stoked about what God is going to do through all of us as we minister to the lost and hurting kids of the Salvation Army.
I am concerned that I am not prepared. I definitely was not prepared for what happened last summer. It was an amazing summer but I came back a jumbled up mess of emotions. I closed myself off from friends and alienated myself from everyone else. It was not a good way to come home.
I am PRAYING that I am more prepared for this year. I know more of what I am stepping into. I have a better idea of the challenges that face all of us as we start another year of camp counseling at Northwoods.
Dear Lord, please help me to lead effectively, know when to get out of Your way and come home more peaceful and less anxious. Help me to stand up against those things that brought me down last year and to stand on Your Truth, Your love and Your joy through any and all situations. Help me to reach out and utilize the amazing support system You have placed around me this year. God, You are amazing. Please help me to honor You in the best way I know how and to continue to honor You as I bring these experiences home with me in August. You know the plans You have for me and I am trusting and believing in Your will for my life. Thank You, Jesus, for being my rock, my strength and my portion. Amen.
"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:1-8
10 April 2011
Crazy Love
Hey friends. I am not sure who reads this thing anymore, but it is a good outlet for thoughts and feelings. To be honest and open about struggles and praises.
The Bible study I am in transitioned from Tangible Kingdom (phenomenal study) to Crazy Love (another phenomenal study).
Crazy Love has been painful. Sharpening. It has broken my heart seventeen ways from Sunday and I am SO THANKFUL that I am a mess. I am a wreck because God is chipping off all of that junk and baggage that I have carried with me for so many years.
He has shown me love via other people. I can honestly say for the first time in the history of ever that I feel love. No, not the sappy, romantic kind of love. No, not that at all. It's a deep, constant love. A love I choose every single day to show to my family and my friends even though some days I don't want to.
I can genuinely say that there is a void as I think of those who have gone before me or those who are no longer a part of my life. Or even those now who I don't see all the time and feel that genuine longing to be around and to love through time and words.
I really feel loss. Fully and powerfully. To my very core I feel for the first time a deep, painful loss. The loss of my mom. The loss of relationships. The loss of what could have been for my family if things had been different.
It's a gut-wrenching, knees to the ground loss. Mourning. Grief. I couldn't put my finger on it before, but that is what it is.
So I bring that up to make this point. Even though these are raw emotions and tough to face, God is love. He is helping me to filter my life through His love. Loss...love. Joy...love. Struggle....love. Mourning...love. It's all love. His incredible, undeniable, unfathomable love for me. His child. His beloved. His precious one.
I am emotional. I feel emotions with power. I always have. When love came knocking and I willingly let it in, it overwhelmed me to the point of tears. I believe that His love has made me more sensitive to the struggles of those around me. It's made me protective of my friends. It's shown me great compassion and mercy for others and a heart that genuinely cares for where others are. It's given me freedom to stand up to those who come against me.
This breakthrough is transforming my life one day, one circumstance, one moment at a time. Finally walls fell down. Defenses all but disappeared and passion came. Passion and hunger for my Creator that was there before, but because of my pride, control, and selfishness kept me stuck in a complacent spot for a really long time.
I miss people. Genuinely and deeply. It could only be 24 hours without seeing a friend, but I feel it deep in my soul. I honestly miss that human connection. A deep human connection that can only be fostered and ushered in through the perfect love of my Savior.
He must feel the same way. When I occupy my time with other people or other things, I imagine that God misses me. Genuinely and deeply. He longs for my attention. He craves a relationship with me. He misses time with me. And God, I miss time with You, and I thank You for putting a renewed craving in my heart for You. An authentic longing to sit in Your presence, to give You my time, attention and heart and to help me to fall in love with You every single hour of every single day.
It's crazy, this love. It's good. Always.
So what's been happening with me lately? Love. That's what is happening.
The Bible study I am in transitioned from Tangible Kingdom (phenomenal study) to Crazy Love (another phenomenal study).
Crazy Love has been painful. Sharpening. It has broken my heart seventeen ways from Sunday and I am SO THANKFUL that I am a mess. I am a wreck because God is chipping off all of that junk and baggage that I have carried with me for so many years.
He has shown me love via other people. I can honestly say for the first time in the history of ever that I feel love. No, not the sappy, romantic kind of love. No, not that at all. It's a deep, constant love. A love I choose every single day to show to my family and my friends even though some days I don't want to.
I can genuinely say that there is a void as I think of those who have gone before me or those who are no longer a part of my life. Or even those now who I don't see all the time and feel that genuine longing to be around and to love through time and words.
I really feel loss. Fully and powerfully. To my very core I feel for the first time a deep, painful loss. The loss of my mom. The loss of relationships. The loss of what could have been for my family if things had been different.
It's a gut-wrenching, knees to the ground loss. Mourning. Grief. I couldn't put my finger on it before, but that is what it is.
So I bring that up to make this point. Even though these are raw emotions and tough to face, God is love. He is helping me to filter my life through His love. Loss...love. Joy...love. Struggle....love. Mourning...love. It's all love. His incredible, undeniable, unfathomable love for me. His child. His beloved. His precious one.
I am emotional. I feel emotions with power. I always have. When love came knocking and I willingly let it in, it overwhelmed me to the point of tears. I believe that His love has made me more sensitive to the struggles of those around me. It's made me protective of my friends. It's shown me great compassion and mercy for others and a heart that genuinely cares for where others are. It's given me freedom to stand up to those who come against me.
This breakthrough is transforming my life one day, one circumstance, one moment at a time. Finally walls fell down. Defenses all but disappeared and passion came. Passion and hunger for my Creator that was there before, but because of my pride, control, and selfishness kept me stuck in a complacent spot for a really long time.
I miss people. Genuinely and deeply. It could only be 24 hours without seeing a friend, but I feel it deep in my soul. I honestly miss that human connection. A deep human connection that can only be fostered and ushered in through the perfect love of my Savior.
He must feel the same way. When I occupy my time with other people or other things, I imagine that God misses me. Genuinely and deeply. He longs for my attention. He craves a relationship with me. He misses time with me. And God, I miss time with You, and I thank You for putting a renewed craving in my heart for You. An authentic longing to sit in Your presence, to give You my time, attention and heart and to help me to fall in love with You every single hour of every single day.
It's crazy, this love. It's good. Always.
So what's been happening with me lately? Love. That's what is happening.
"Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:7-8
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:7-8
13 February 2011
Closer
Oh friends, it has been ages since I posted anything. I guess today is as good a day as any. That and I have lots on my mind and kinda just need to unload it all.
Struggle, struggle, struggle. With friendships, with family, with everything. God must be working out something AWESOME for all of the struggling lately.
As some of you know, my stepmom broke her hip this past Thursday. This is what happened:
Elke (my stepmom) was out getting the rest of the groceries for my dad's surprise 70th birthday party that was suppose to be yesterday. She had enlisted the help of a bag boy at the grocery store to assist in getting it all to the car. As they were walking, a lady started backing out. She saw the bag boy but not my stepmom. So Elke jumped to the side to get out of the way and fell. She fell on her right hip on the hard surface of an icy parking lot. She broke her hip. So they took her to Pipestone and then transferred her to McKennan in Sioux Falls. Friday morning at 7AM she went in for surgery to repair what was broken.
My dad got the call that this had happened on Thursday night while he was in Kansas City delivering (he's a truck driver). He wasn't able to unload until Friday morning, so there he sits wondering what is happening, how bad it is, what's going to happen next.
Elke comes through surgery just fine. The surgeon was very happy with how it went and prognosis for healing is all positive. Now begins the hard part.
My dad finally gets to the hospital 8:30 Friday night and she is in incredible pain. He stays until midnight, goes home to get some sleep and my brother Jeremy and I go back with him on Saturday.
Here is the spiel on McKennan. My mom had all three of her back surgeries there, so Jeremy and I are already leary of having to go back to McKennan. But it went ok. So dad, Jeremy and I go to see Elke. She is in so much pain that she hasn't slept and because of all of the pain meds they have her on she hasn't eaten much. She is pretty small to begin with, so surgery plus little food and no sleep doesn't help. Jeremy and I decided to give dad and Elke some time alone so we go to the gift shop. We picked her up a few things and went back to the room.
We stayed for a little while but eventually the pain was just too much. We called in the nurse and asked him to give her some morphine so she could actually sleep and to lessen the pain a little. We then left to give her a chance to rest.
Friends, it's hard to watch your parents go through stuff like this. My dad just looks so tired and I know he is worried even if he tells me he's not. This just makes me want to wave a magic wand and take it all away. Make it so it didn't happen.
But, God will never give us more than we can handle, right?
So that's the latest. As soon as she is doing better, they are going to move her back to the hospital in Pipestone. Dad is temporarily not working to stay home and take care of Elke.
I know God will pull them through. He will pull all of us through.
Friends, I wish I were better at dealing with things sometimes. I just can't face people when I am hurting, even though I know I should. I don't apologize for that. God is working it out. I would be lying if I said my heart wasn't broken for all that our family has been through, but again, God is working that out, too. I can't wait to see what He has for us all, but until then we hold on another day and lean into His powerful embrace for strength.
You know what I want more than anything? A hug. A simple hug to know that someone else cares about what is happening. And to just let me sit and cry and not be weird about. Do you know crying is actually quite healing and cleansing? I know that you all do care, but sometimes I just want someone to show me they do.
Please continue to pray for my dad and stepmom. They could use all the prayer support they can get.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit." ~Psalm 34:18
There is a song that I have just really attached to this week. Shawn McDonald's "Closer".
Looking for a color in a shade of gray
Looking for love in a drop of rain
Trying to find change in the old mundane
Everything I do just feels the same
Spending my life out in the desert
Then gone so long feels like forever
I just want to be closer to you
I just want to be closer, I am yours
You can have all of me anything, everything
I just want to be closer
A day without you is a thousand years
A day without you is a million tears
Tell me what I’m doing wrong when I’m in fear
Why do I run when you are so near
Spending my life out in the weather
Been gone so long and I need some shelter
Where ever you go
Where ever you are
I just want be there with you
I just want to be closer to you
I just want to be closer
I am yours
You can have all of me anything everything
I just want to be closer
I just want to be closer to you
I just want to be closer
For I am yours
You can have all of me anything, everything
I just want to be closer
Looking for a color in the shade of gray
Looking for love in a drop of rain
11 November 2010
Take a picture, it lasts longer
As I was going through the lunch line at school today, the 4th grade girls asked me to sit with them. As I am responding to the girls I watch some 5th graders look at me and laugh. I pretty much already know what the joke is.
So I decide to sit with them and as the 5th graders file into their places, a bunch of them turn around, look at me, turn back around and start laughing with their friends. I felt like I was in high school all over again.
I realize that I am a big girl. I get that. And I am reminded daily. Every time I look in the mirror and see what stares back at me. I know this. I know it every time I walk into a restaurant with friends and see the looks people give me. I know it when I actually do get set up on a blind date and the guy finally sees me and makes up some lame excuse to get out of it. I see it everywhere. The judgment and ridicule that comes with being an obese American.
And I definitely feel it and hear it in the smirks and looks of a 5th grade class. They probably don't think before they start snickering or think that it may hurt my feelings. Well maybe it does. And maybe I get tired of it. Maybe I get tired of getting my feelings hurt or tired of constantly having my defenses up as someone says something vulgar and demeaning under their breath as I walk by in Wal-Mart. Sick of the looks I get from guys as their eyes tell me exactly why they are judging me.
Does it make them feel better to make me feel worse? Is that what this society is coming to? Put someone down because they aren't perfect, they aren't skinny, they don't dress a certain way, come from a certain family, or don't have a lot of money? Really?
God created me. In His image. And I beautiful. I am strong. I am smart. I am emotional. I am loved so that I can love. That last one is hard when people don't love you back because of how you look.
There are so many things I could say, but won't because I am still pretty angry and upset. I would just make a fool of myself and they would win. But thank goodness I have a Savior who defeated all of that and will stand victorious forever over the insults and comments and hurtful things that happen.
Ok, I think I am done for now.
So I decide to sit with them and as the 5th graders file into their places, a bunch of them turn around, look at me, turn back around and start laughing with their friends. I felt like I was in high school all over again.
I realize that I am a big girl. I get that. And I am reminded daily. Every time I look in the mirror and see what stares back at me. I know this. I know it every time I walk into a restaurant with friends and see the looks people give me. I know it when I actually do get set up on a blind date and the guy finally sees me and makes up some lame excuse to get out of it. I see it everywhere. The judgment and ridicule that comes with being an obese American.
And I definitely feel it and hear it in the smirks and looks of a 5th grade class. They probably don't think before they start snickering or think that it may hurt my feelings. Well maybe it does. And maybe I get tired of it. Maybe I get tired of getting my feelings hurt or tired of constantly having my defenses up as someone says something vulgar and demeaning under their breath as I walk by in Wal-Mart. Sick of the looks I get from guys as their eyes tell me exactly why they are judging me.
Does it make them feel better to make me feel worse? Is that what this society is coming to? Put someone down because they aren't perfect, they aren't skinny, they don't dress a certain way, come from a certain family, or don't have a lot of money? Really?
God created me. In His image. And I beautiful. I am strong. I am smart. I am emotional. I am loved so that I can love. That last one is hard when people don't love you back because of how you look.
There are so many things I could say, but won't because I am still pretty angry and upset. I would just make a fool of myself and they would win. But thank goodness I have a Savior who defeated all of that and will stand victorious forever over the insults and comments and hurtful things that happen.
Ok, I think I am done for now.
24 September 2010
Surrender is Stronger
"I wonder why I'm still running when I know there's no escaping."
This line is from the FFH song "Undone". It is sitting right in my gut today.
I just want to know what you think.
This line is from the FFH song "Undone". It is sitting right in my gut today.
I just want to know what you think.
30 August 2010
Comfort Zone? What Comfort Zone?
"Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground."
~Psalm 143: 10
It's 9:00PM on a Monday night. August 30, 2010. The first day back at Central Minnesota Christian School for a new school year. What a fantastic day. It was a good day to see friends, teachers and students.
It was fun to watch the new little kids with big, wide eyes walk down the hallway to their new classroom. To take it all in for the first time with awe and excitement. That part of school never gets old.
Today also brought a new bus route. Instead of going exclusively to Montevideo, now I go to Granite Falls AND Montevideo. The kids are great. The route is great. I am excited for this new year. Well, almost excited.
There are a few things that stress me out. Scheduling stresses me out. Working through less than ideal situations stresses me out. Not living up to the expectations of others stresses me out. Feeling like I am not always treated fairly or equally stresses me out. I hate being stressed out. For any reason.
However, this is an awesome opportunity for God to grow me. Stretch me. Take me out of my comfort zone and let me be His hands and feet. It's a good thing. Not always the most comfortable thing, but a good thing. I am thankful that God does that. I am thankful that He always knows best even if I think that I do. His ways are good ways and always right ways.
Thank You, Jesus, for a great start to the new year. Thank You for all of the trials and all of the triumphs. Thank You for Your precious children who are excited to learn and grow this year. Thank You for this life, God, and help me to use it to bring You glory. I love You, Jesus. Amen.
~Psalm 143: 10
It's 9:00PM on a Monday night. August 30, 2010. The first day back at Central Minnesota Christian School for a new school year. What a fantastic day. It was a good day to see friends, teachers and students.
It was fun to watch the new little kids with big, wide eyes walk down the hallway to their new classroom. To take it all in for the first time with awe and excitement. That part of school never gets old.
Today also brought a new bus route. Instead of going exclusively to Montevideo, now I go to Granite Falls AND Montevideo. The kids are great. The route is great. I am excited for this new year. Well, almost excited.
There are a few things that stress me out. Scheduling stresses me out. Working through less than ideal situations stresses me out. Not living up to the expectations of others stresses me out. Feeling like I am not always treated fairly or equally stresses me out. I hate being stressed out. For any reason.
However, this is an awesome opportunity for God to grow me. Stretch me. Take me out of my comfort zone and let me be His hands and feet. It's a good thing. Not always the most comfortable thing, but a good thing. I am thankful that God does that. I am thankful that He always knows best even if I think that I do. His ways are good ways and always right ways.
Thank You, Jesus, for a great start to the new year. Thank You for all of the trials and all of the triumphs. Thank You for Your precious children who are excited to learn and grow this year. Thank You for this life, God, and help me to use it to bring You glory. I love You, Jesus. Amen.
25 August 2010
..His joy comes with the morning.....
Finally. Finally things seem to be getting back to normal. I am finally able to settle back into life here. I am laughing and joking with my friends again. I am enjoying the idea of school starting on Monday. I am excited to see all of the kids walk through the school doors Monday morning.
Finally things are starting to fall back into place after the emotional upheaval of post camp life.
Thank goodness. My moodiness was giving me whiplash, and probably everyone else here, too. I was getting sick of my attitude and sadness. I finally believe that I have pushed through the mourning period, so now I can finally really enjoy and take in what God is working throughout Joppa and upcoming with YA-TEC.
Friends, Joppa is incredible. What a great young adult group we are blessed to have here in Willmar. I have had some pretty incredible conversations lately with some of my friends about going deeper in our faith and not just being "Sunday Christians". We don't want complacency. We don't want to be comfortable. We want to step out of our comfort zones, be the hands and feet of Jesus and really serve. Get out and serve someone.
We have had a couple of incredible opportunities lately. From serving community meals to marching for Jesus up 1st Street, it has been amazing.
And now our friends have set out on a journey. Scottie, Chris and George left last Thursday night and are walking to Duluth, then to the cities, then to Mankato and making their way back home from there. They are going for a month and seeing who they encounter along the way. They didn't bring much with them (except Scottie is carrying a pretty big Cross and I think they may have Bibles and perhaps a change of clothes or two). They are trusting, in faith, that God is going to provide for their every need and keep them safe as they serve and minister to God's people on the streets in Duluth, the cities and Mankato.
That is awesome. And I can use awesome here because I believe that this an awe inspiring leap of faith.
See what God does when His servants are faithful?? I cannot wait to hear their stories when they return. I cannot wait to hear what God did and will continue to do even after they are back. I cannot wait to hear how it changed them, much like I came back changed.
I cannot wait to see how we use these experiences to make a difference in Willmar and the west central Minnesota area. God is moving. Let's be willing servants and vessels that He can use and let us not forget who we serve.
"I long for your salvation, O LORD,
and your law is my delight.
Let me live that I may praise you,
and may your laws sustain me.
I have strayed like a lost sheep.
Seek your servant,
for I have not forgotten your commands." -Psalm 119:174-176
Finally things are starting to fall back into place after the emotional upheaval of post camp life.
Thank goodness. My moodiness was giving me whiplash, and probably everyone else here, too. I was getting sick of my attitude and sadness. I finally believe that I have pushed through the mourning period, so now I can finally really enjoy and take in what God is working throughout Joppa and upcoming with YA-TEC.
Friends, Joppa is incredible. What a great young adult group we are blessed to have here in Willmar. I have had some pretty incredible conversations lately with some of my friends about going deeper in our faith and not just being "Sunday Christians". We don't want complacency. We don't want to be comfortable. We want to step out of our comfort zones, be the hands and feet of Jesus and really serve. Get out and serve someone.
We have had a couple of incredible opportunities lately. From serving community meals to marching for Jesus up 1st Street, it has been amazing.
And now our friends have set out on a journey. Scottie, Chris and George left last Thursday night and are walking to Duluth, then to the cities, then to Mankato and making their way back home from there. They are going for a month and seeing who they encounter along the way. They didn't bring much with them (except Scottie is carrying a pretty big Cross and I think they may have Bibles and perhaps a change of clothes or two). They are trusting, in faith, that God is going to provide for their every need and keep them safe as they serve and minister to God's people on the streets in Duluth, the cities and Mankato.
That is awesome. And I can use awesome here because I believe that this an awe inspiring leap of faith.
See what God does when His servants are faithful?? I cannot wait to hear their stories when they return. I cannot wait to hear what God did and will continue to do even after they are back. I cannot wait to hear how it changed them, much like I came back changed.
I cannot wait to see how we use these experiences to make a difference in Willmar and the west central Minnesota area. God is moving. Let's be willing servants and vessels that He can use and let us not forget who we serve.
"I long for your salvation, O LORD,
and your law is my delight.
Let me live that I may praise you,
and may your laws sustain me.
I have strayed like a lost sheep.
Seek your servant,
for I have not forgotten your commands." -Psalm 119:174-176
24 August 2010
On A Rainy Day
"Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the desert. By day the pillar of cloud did not cease to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst. For forty years you sustained them in the desert; they lacked nothing, their clothes did not wear out nor did their feet become swollen." -Nehemiah 9:19-21
I thank God that He does not leave us in the desert
I praise Him for His provision and His grace
I know His pillar goes before me
As I tread onwards towards a Heavenly place
Your promises bring peace to a weary soul
Joy to a life filled with fear
Comfort to a breaking and bleeding heart
Compassion as Your love draws me near
Renew this tired travelers hope, dear Lord
Return this heart fully towards home
Receive these praises from tired lips
Redirect these feet as they roam
Bring forth a steadfast Spirit
Shine light on the next shaky steps
Hold fast to Your servant, O Holy One
Plant boldness where it isn't yet
I thank You, Lord, for not leaving me
A constant Friend in this sometimes lonely place
I continue on this path I know
Towards Your indescribably beautiful face
I thank God that He does not leave us in the desert
I praise Him for His provision and His grace
I know His pillar goes before me
As I tread onwards towards a Heavenly place
Your promises bring peace to a weary soul
Joy to a life filled with fear
Comfort to a breaking and bleeding heart
Compassion as Your love draws me near
Renew this tired travelers hope, dear Lord
Return this heart fully towards home
Receive these praises from tired lips
Redirect these feet as they roam
Bring forth a steadfast Spirit
Shine light on the next shaky steps
Hold fast to Your servant, O Holy One
Plant boldness where it isn't yet
I thank You, Lord, for not leaving me
A constant Friend in this sometimes lonely place
I continue on this path I know
Towards Your indescribably beautiful face
16 August 2010
"Awesome"
Hey friends. It has been a few days or so since I have updated this. A lot has happened in a few days.
Friday night: Joppa ladies night. We got together, went out on a boat and played games. It was pretty epic. Yes. Amazingly epic.
Saturday: God of This City March in Willmar. It was pretty amazing. The pictures are on Facebook.
Sunday: Wicked in the cities. That was pretty awesome as well.
I must say, there has been a lot of awesome these last few days.
My dad dislikes when I use the term "awesome" to describe things like musicals and marches. His definition of "awesome" includes tornadoes and hurricanes. Epic acts of God. Things that are awesome.
Dictionary.com defines "awesome" as "inspiring awe". I can see that. God is awesome. His works are awesome. His creation is awesome. When you look at it in that context, a musical doesn't qualify. Not even close. Not even in the same playing field, actually.
God inspires awe. His very nature, His very character, His very being. He is completely wrapped in awesomeness. Oh yes. The Greek word for awesome (actually awesome respect) is phobeomai, which means "to fear, be afraid; to respect." It is used in two ways:
1) to be afraid for one's self, and
2) to have awesome respect for God
Apparently I have been using it wrong for some time. "Awesome" should be reserved for something truly awe inspiring. Think about that the next time you think something is awesome. :)
"Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ?
Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?" ~ Exodus 15:11
Here is a great new song that I currently have flittering around in my head. Enjoy!
"Light Up the Sky" ~ The Afters
When I'm feeling all alone and so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It's falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
Oh I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Love is rushing in
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
Oh I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
So I run straight to Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
Oh I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You are with me
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You are with me
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Friday night: Joppa ladies night. We got together, went out on a boat and played games. It was pretty epic. Yes. Amazingly epic.
Saturday: God of This City March in Willmar. It was pretty amazing. The pictures are on Facebook.
Sunday: Wicked in the cities. That was pretty awesome as well.
I must say, there has been a lot of awesome these last few days.
My dad dislikes when I use the term "awesome" to describe things like musicals and marches. His definition of "awesome" includes tornadoes and hurricanes. Epic acts of God. Things that are awesome.
Dictionary.com defines "awesome" as "inspiring awe". I can see that. God is awesome. His works are awesome. His creation is awesome. When you look at it in that context, a musical doesn't qualify. Not even close. Not even in the same playing field, actually.
God inspires awe. His very nature, His very character, His very being. He is completely wrapped in awesomeness. Oh yes. The Greek word for awesome (actually awesome respect) is phobeomai, which means "to fear, be afraid; to respect." It is used in two ways:
1) to be afraid for one's self, and
2) to have awesome respect for God
Apparently I have been using it wrong for some time. "Awesome" should be reserved for something truly awe inspiring. Think about that the next time you think something is awesome. :)
"Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ?
Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?" ~ Exodus 15:11
Here is a great new song that I currently have flittering around in my head. Enjoy!
"Light Up the Sky" ~ The Afters
When I'm feeling all alone and so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It's falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
Oh I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Love is rushing in
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
Oh I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
So I run straight to Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
Oh I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You are with me
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You are with me
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
13 August 2010
A Rambling I Go
Good afternoon, friends. I woke this morning feeling like I had been hit by a speeding locomotive. Oy. My head hurts, I am aching and my stomach is a bit on the "not-so-sure-you-should-put-food-in-me" side. Pretty sure I have something that resembles the flu, but I am praying that it isn't. Desperately praying that it isn't.
Last night the mother of all storms blew through our area. It started around 6:45 last night as I was hanging out with my friend Ann in Willmar. The sky took on this greenish hue, clouds sped over the house and then the rains came. Torrential and steady, dancing with the wind as sheet after sheet of rain pelted everything not covered or protected. And then there was the lightening and thunder. The lightening was crazy wild. It looked like someone was taking several pictures all at the same time. It was breathtaking to watch. This storm lasted well into the evening and I think, according to my friend Emily, that the last of it blew out of here somewhere around 7:00 this morning.
I love storms. For whatever weird reason I have always loved them. I have to say that my favorite part of the storm is the lightening (which is probably the most deadly part of the storm). It grabs my attention and holds it. I am fascinated by it.
Much like I am fascinated by the dynamic presence of God.
He was the one who created the lightening. And the rain. And the thunder. His creation is beautiful and violent and completely captivating. Have you ever been to the rocky coasts of the Pacific? I have. When I was a kid. As many summers as we could, my family and I would travel to Medford, Oregon to see my great Aunt Clara. Medford is a beautiful city. Oregon is a beautiful state, but it was a killer car ride all the way from Minnesota. We would take the time to travel the few hours or so to get to the ocean from Medford. I am not even sure how far it was, but I knew it was the highlight of every trip there for all of us kids being from Minnesota and all. The biggest body of water we have is Lake Superior, so imagine how wide-eyed and fascinated we were by a body of water so immense.
The shore was rocky, at least where we would go. Not much beach and giant rocks everywhere. Kind of like the coast of Lake Superior. And we would always end up going on the cold and windy days, so the surf would hit the rocks and we would be covered in ocean spray. It was a dynamic and beautiful memory. It was fascinating to me to watch wave after wave come in and hit the rocks and see how far the water would fly into the air and where it would land.
God did that. He generates the wind and creates the waves as a testament to His power and might. He allows us to live in this creation, His creation, to marvel at it so that we don't forget who created it and ultimately who is in charge.
I thought one day I would live in Medford, but that was replaced by a love for the mountains in Colorado. Maybe one day, a long way off when I am retired, I will once again visit Oregon and the coast where we spent time as kids. Maybe. Who knows.
Last night the mother of all storms blew through our area. It started around 6:45 last night as I was hanging out with my friend Ann in Willmar. The sky took on this greenish hue, clouds sped over the house and then the rains came. Torrential and steady, dancing with the wind as sheet after sheet of rain pelted everything not covered or protected. And then there was the lightening and thunder. The lightening was crazy wild. It looked like someone was taking several pictures all at the same time. It was breathtaking to watch. This storm lasted well into the evening and I think, according to my friend Emily, that the last of it blew out of here somewhere around 7:00 this morning.
I love storms. For whatever weird reason I have always loved them. I have to say that my favorite part of the storm is the lightening (which is probably the most deadly part of the storm). It grabs my attention and holds it. I am fascinated by it.
Much like I am fascinated by the dynamic presence of God.
He was the one who created the lightening. And the rain. And the thunder. His creation is beautiful and violent and completely captivating. Have you ever been to the rocky coasts of the Pacific? I have. When I was a kid. As many summers as we could, my family and I would travel to Medford, Oregon to see my great Aunt Clara. Medford is a beautiful city. Oregon is a beautiful state, but it was a killer car ride all the way from Minnesota. We would take the time to travel the few hours or so to get to the ocean from Medford. I am not even sure how far it was, but I knew it was the highlight of every trip there for all of us kids being from Minnesota and all. The biggest body of water we have is Lake Superior, so imagine how wide-eyed and fascinated we were by a body of water so immense.
The shore was rocky, at least where we would go. Not much beach and giant rocks everywhere. Kind of like the coast of Lake Superior. And we would always end up going on the cold and windy days, so the surf would hit the rocks and we would be covered in ocean spray. It was a dynamic and beautiful memory. It was fascinating to me to watch wave after wave come in and hit the rocks and see how far the water would fly into the air and where it would land.
God did that. He generates the wind and creates the waves as a testament to His power and might. He allows us to live in this creation, His creation, to marvel at it so that we don't forget who created it and ultimately who is in charge.
I thought one day I would live in Medford, but that was replaced by a love for the mountains in Colorado. Maybe one day, a long way off when I am retired, I will once again visit Oregon and the coast where we spent time as kids. Maybe. Who knows.
11 August 2010
Snorkeling or Scuba Diving?
"Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him, and He disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while He talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?" ~Luke 24:31-32
Last night at Joppa, Jeff asked a really great question. Is your faith like snorkeling or scuba diving?
Well? What is your answer to that question?
Personally, for a long time my faith was very much like snorkeling. I stayed pretty shallow and at the surface. I snorkeled with part of myself in the world and part of myself in Christ, but never really submerged all the way. I was afraid. Afraid of what God would ask of me if I gave everything over to Him. Afraid of what I would have to give up by giving in. Afraid that once I did go completely under, that my friends and family would stand on the shore and laugh at my lame efforts.
Fear is strong if you let it be.
But fear didn't get the best of me.
I took a leap of faith, walked out on the water, spread my arms wide and fell backwards into the awaiting embrace of my Lord. I dove in, head first, to see the splendor and beauty that lay below the surface. I found that taking that leap, diving into the deep was the best thing I could have done.
You know what I found when I got there? So much more than I could have ever dreamed in my entire life. I found freedom to serve Him. I found love I didn't think I had in me to give to others. I found purpose for a life that didn't feel like there was. I found a God of love, pulling me deeper. He brought me to a place of brokenness that was necessary to walk through in order to help those who maybe had gone through some of the same things I did. That place of brokenness also brought me to the revelation that I needed to trust in His strength and His power and His plan because I knew I couldn't do it on my own.
And through that the unimaginable happened. I walked with broken and hurting children through their own personal hell, and I believe with my whole being that God is going to deliver them all of their circumstances and that some mighty leaders will be raised up through the ashes. He is bringing about beauty through ashes.
This brings me to the verse above. Jeff didn't get to that part of Luke 24. I read ahead and felt a connection to it. It is the story of the two men on the road to Emmaus and their encounter with the risen Christ. However, they didn't know they had been walking with the Lord until the end of the chapter. This is where my heart skipped a beat.
Their eyes were opened to who He was, and their hearts burned as He opened the Scripture to them.
How often does this happen to us? I know that sometimes my own personal Bible studies and devotions can get a bit stalled. Not because of God. Because of me. I realize that sometimes I am doing a devotion or scanning the Bible for my own selfish gain, completely missing out on what God is trying to tell me. I walk the road to Emmaus with blinders on and my heart closed off. I swim out of the deep end and start snorkeling again. As I am walking, or snorkeling, a presence is felt and words of life begin to spill forth. My heart begins to burn. My legs begin to kick harder as I begin to submerge once again to deeper waters, deeper faith.
Sometimes we all need that road to Emmaus moment to wake us up to the wonderful power of His Word, His countenance. Sometimes we need to be pulled, or yanked into His Almighty presence as a reminder of who we serve and how much He loves.
And boys and girls, how He loves.
It's ok to test the waters. Put a foot in, grab the snorkel, stay in the shallow end of the pool. My only question to you then is this. How are you expecting to grow if you only stay in the wading pool? Look towards the deep at Christ who is beckoning you forward into a closer walk, a deeper relationship completely submerged in His Word, His love and His salvation. Trust that He knows what He is doing and don't be afraid to go there with Him. His plan far exceeds anything you or I could think up. Trust Him. And when your faith gets stale, be on the lookout. Emmaus isn't too far off and I guarantee He is with you through the entire trip. Just keep walking. Keep diving. Keep seeking. Keep searching. Let your heart burn as His Scripture takes hold of you. Don't let it go.
I guarantee it is worth it.
Last night at Joppa, Jeff asked a really great question. Is your faith like snorkeling or scuba diving?
Well? What is your answer to that question?
Personally, for a long time my faith was very much like snorkeling. I stayed pretty shallow and at the surface. I snorkeled with part of myself in the world and part of myself in Christ, but never really submerged all the way. I was afraid. Afraid of what God would ask of me if I gave everything over to Him. Afraid of what I would have to give up by giving in. Afraid that once I did go completely under, that my friends and family would stand on the shore and laugh at my lame efforts.
Fear is strong if you let it be.
But fear didn't get the best of me.
I took a leap of faith, walked out on the water, spread my arms wide and fell backwards into the awaiting embrace of my Lord. I dove in, head first, to see the splendor and beauty that lay below the surface. I found that taking that leap, diving into the deep was the best thing I could have done.
You know what I found when I got there? So much more than I could have ever dreamed in my entire life. I found freedom to serve Him. I found love I didn't think I had in me to give to others. I found purpose for a life that didn't feel like there was. I found a God of love, pulling me deeper. He brought me to a place of brokenness that was necessary to walk through in order to help those who maybe had gone through some of the same things I did. That place of brokenness also brought me to the revelation that I needed to trust in His strength and His power and His plan because I knew I couldn't do it on my own.
And through that the unimaginable happened. I walked with broken and hurting children through their own personal hell, and I believe with my whole being that God is going to deliver them all of their circumstances and that some mighty leaders will be raised up through the ashes. He is bringing about beauty through ashes.
This brings me to the verse above. Jeff didn't get to that part of Luke 24. I read ahead and felt a connection to it. It is the story of the two men on the road to Emmaus and their encounter with the risen Christ. However, they didn't know they had been walking with the Lord until the end of the chapter. This is where my heart skipped a beat.
Their eyes were opened to who He was, and their hearts burned as He opened the Scripture to them.
How often does this happen to us? I know that sometimes my own personal Bible studies and devotions can get a bit stalled. Not because of God. Because of me. I realize that sometimes I am doing a devotion or scanning the Bible for my own selfish gain, completely missing out on what God is trying to tell me. I walk the road to Emmaus with blinders on and my heart closed off. I swim out of the deep end and start snorkeling again. As I am walking, or snorkeling, a presence is felt and words of life begin to spill forth. My heart begins to burn. My legs begin to kick harder as I begin to submerge once again to deeper waters, deeper faith.
Sometimes we all need that road to Emmaus moment to wake us up to the wonderful power of His Word, His countenance. Sometimes we need to be pulled, or yanked into His Almighty presence as a reminder of who we serve and how much He loves.
And boys and girls, how He loves.
It's ok to test the waters. Put a foot in, grab the snorkel, stay in the shallow end of the pool. My only question to you then is this. How are you expecting to grow if you only stay in the wading pool? Look towards the deep at Christ who is beckoning you forward into a closer walk, a deeper relationship completely submerged in His Word, His love and His salvation. Trust that He knows what He is doing and don't be afraid to go there with Him. His plan far exceeds anything you or I could think up. Trust Him. And when your faith gets stale, be on the lookout. Emmaus isn't too far off and I guarantee He is with you through the entire trip. Just keep walking. Keep diving. Keep seeking. Keep searching. Let your heart burn as His Scripture takes hold of you. Don't let it go.
I guarantee it is worth it.
10 August 2010
Moving Forward, Moving On
I love how this past summer went. It was everything I could have hoped for and more. Honestly. Now that I am home, though, I am finding it incredibly difficult to get back into the swing of things here.
I find my mind wandering back to moments and memories that I will always treasure. I can't stay there, though. Moving forward is essential. God is beckoning me onward towards Him into the next great adventure that this school year will bring. He calls me towards all the hope and promise of what He will do with this ram shackled life of mine.
So with that, I step forward back into the life that was here before I left. I step back in hoping not to fall back into the complacent place I was in before. I think that is what scares me the most. I grew so much this summer, even when I didn't think that I did. Even when situations became difficult and God felt a million miles away, I still pressed on and found His handiwork in all things. Even towards the end when I felt so distant and drained. I leaned on God's strength for the final push and felt arms that created the universe embrace me and comfort me all the way up to the car ride home.
Now I am home. Home is complacent. I am determined not to let it be so. God has a plan for this time in my life. Jeremiah 29:11. A funny thing about Jeremiah 29:11. First off, here is the verse.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Did you know that in the original Greek, it was not written "plans to prosper"? It was written "plans for shalom". Shalom means peace. Not just any peace, though. The peace that surpasses all understanding. Deep seeded, unfathomable peace. So the verse really should read:
"For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans for shalom (peace) and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That is awesome. God's plans for us include soul comforting, all consuming peace. I like that.
I am longing for shalom. I believe that God is moving in my heart to bring me to that place of shalom as I continue to travel on this narrow way path with my Lord. First, I have to move forward and quit stalling in the past. Realize there is much work to be done here. To roll up my sleeves and prepare for the harvest to begin.
Thank You for shalom, Lord. Thank You for Your leading. Bring comfort and peace to this road weary soul and push me forward even when I want to go back. Thank You, Jesus. I love You. :) Amen.
I find my mind wandering back to moments and memories that I will always treasure. I can't stay there, though. Moving forward is essential. God is beckoning me onward towards Him into the next great adventure that this school year will bring. He calls me towards all the hope and promise of what He will do with this ram shackled life of mine.
So with that, I step forward back into the life that was here before I left. I step back in hoping not to fall back into the complacent place I was in before. I think that is what scares me the most. I grew so much this summer, even when I didn't think that I did. Even when situations became difficult and God felt a million miles away, I still pressed on and found His handiwork in all things. Even towards the end when I felt so distant and drained. I leaned on God's strength for the final push and felt arms that created the universe embrace me and comfort me all the way up to the car ride home.
Now I am home. Home is complacent. I am determined not to let it be so. God has a plan for this time in my life. Jeremiah 29:11. A funny thing about Jeremiah 29:11. First off, here is the verse.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Did you know that in the original Greek, it was not written "plans to prosper"? It was written "plans for shalom". Shalom means peace. Not just any peace, though. The peace that surpasses all understanding. Deep seeded, unfathomable peace. So the verse really should read:
"For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans for shalom (peace) and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That is awesome. God's plans for us include soul comforting, all consuming peace. I like that.
I am longing for shalom. I believe that God is moving in my heart to bring me to that place of shalom as I continue to travel on this narrow way path with my Lord. First, I have to move forward and quit stalling in the past. Realize there is much work to be done here. To roll up my sleeves and prepare for the harvest to begin.
Thank You for shalom, Lord. Thank You for Your leading. Bring comfort and peace to this road weary soul and push me forward even when I want to go back. Thank You, Jesus. I love You. :) Amen.
08 August 2010
Division Bad...Unity Good
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6
God has called us, as a church, to be unified so that we can glorify and honor the One who made it all. Who made your next breath, your next moment, your very life.
Unified. When I look around these days, I don't see unity. Rather I see division in abundance. Division in the very place that suffers the most from it. The church. The very body of people that God calls to be unified. Not just in churches, but in the smaller groups that represent church.
I can think of one example right now, and it saddens me because neither time nor growth has brought unity. In fact, the absolute opposite has occurred. Clique's have formed, people have broken away which is essentially destroying unity without those doing it even realizing that is what is happening.
The Bible (you know, that book we should ALL be reading) warns about division. Here are a few verses:
"I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people." Romans 16: 17-18
"But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." 1 Corinthians 12:24b-26
If one part suffers, all suffer. That is humbling because if one part is divided it will inevitably infect the rest of the body like the flu. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I do not take joy in having the flu or think it is a very pleasant experience. Imagine that kind of infection, figuratively speaking, taking over an entire church because of one small break. One small crack that eventually turns into a big gaping hole big enough for satan to get in and wreak havoc in whatever way he wishes.
Division is disastrous in so many ways. It hurts people, it brings into question the very Truth that we build our faith upon and it can cause believers to turn from their faith. We, as a body of Christ, need to be very careful. People are watching us and when they see us destroying each other over theological debates and the color of the churches carpet and turning others against everyone else, they see the body of Christ as nothing but a group of hypocrites doing the very same things that they preach about not doing every Sunday.
Division is bad. Unity is good. Unity brings about community. Community is God's intended practice for His people. We falter, we fall, we hurt, we sin, we stumble, we trip. We are not perfect.
God is.
Through community with Christ and with each other we love, we hope, we succeed, we overcome, we persevere, we achieve.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
Through community, we walk this road together, united through the all-surpassing power of our Lord and Savior. The walk isn't always perfect, but we know we have help mate's to pick us up when we fall, encourage us through discouragement and cheer us on when it doesn't feel like there is anything to cheer about.
We do it together. Why on earth would we want to be divided from that?
God has called us, as a church, to be unified so that we can glorify and honor the One who made it all. Who made your next breath, your next moment, your very life.
Unified. When I look around these days, I don't see unity. Rather I see division in abundance. Division in the very place that suffers the most from it. The church. The very body of people that God calls to be unified. Not just in churches, but in the smaller groups that represent church.
I can think of one example right now, and it saddens me because neither time nor growth has brought unity. In fact, the absolute opposite has occurred. Clique's have formed, people have broken away which is essentially destroying unity without those doing it even realizing that is what is happening.
The Bible (you know, that book we should ALL be reading) warns about division. Here are a few verses:
"I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people." Romans 16: 17-18
"But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." 1 Corinthians 12:24b-26
If one part suffers, all suffer. That is humbling because if one part is divided it will inevitably infect the rest of the body like the flu. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I do not take joy in having the flu or think it is a very pleasant experience. Imagine that kind of infection, figuratively speaking, taking over an entire church because of one small break. One small crack that eventually turns into a big gaping hole big enough for satan to get in and wreak havoc in whatever way he wishes.
Division is disastrous in so many ways. It hurts people, it brings into question the very Truth that we build our faith upon and it can cause believers to turn from their faith. We, as a body of Christ, need to be very careful. People are watching us and when they see us destroying each other over theological debates and the color of the churches carpet and turning others against everyone else, they see the body of Christ as nothing but a group of hypocrites doing the very same things that they preach about not doing every Sunday.
Division is bad. Unity is good. Unity brings about community. Community is God's intended practice for His people. We falter, we fall, we hurt, we sin, we stumble, we trip. We are not perfect.
God is.
Through community with Christ and with each other we love, we hope, we succeed, we overcome, we persevere, we achieve.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
Through community, we walk this road together, united through the all-surpassing power of our Lord and Savior. The walk isn't always perfect, but we know we have help mate's to pick us up when we fall, encourage us through discouragement and cheer us on when it doesn't feel like there is anything to cheer about.
We do it together. Why on earth would we want to be divided from that?
07 August 2010
Raging Seas
So, yeah. Not sure what to even write tonight.
I feel kind of like I am having this internal battle right now. Really.
Last night I had a conversation that needed to take place so that I could be real and honest and authentic and I am pretty sure it backfired. Miserably. I think.
I was honest about this guy (not to him directly). What my feelings were. How I am trying to disregard them. How I am trying to protect not only myself, but the other people involved because I care about them. Pretty sure I wish I would have never said anything, but at the same time very relieved I brought it up so that I could get it out of my mind and out of my heart.
God, things are a mess. Please bring restoration to all those involved, including me. Father, bring healing to this broken heart and restoration to hope and joy. I love You, Jesus. Please help me love You with an undivided heart that I may not sin against You, Lord and help restore the breaks in friendships as a direct result of my honesty, Lord. You are God and I am not. I trust in You and I love You. You will see us all through. Thank You, Jesus.
Let The Water's Rise ~ Mikeschair
Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You
Ohhh
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/mikeschair-lyrics/let-the-waters-rise-lyrics.html
I feel kind of like I am having this internal battle right now. Really.
Last night I had a conversation that needed to take place so that I could be real and honest and authentic and I am pretty sure it backfired. Miserably. I think.
I was honest about this guy (not to him directly). What my feelings were. How I am trying to disregard them. How I am trying to protect not only myself, but the other people involved because I care about them. Pretty sure I wish I would have never said anything, but at the same time very relieved I brought it up so that I could get it out of my mind and out of my heart.
God, things are a mess. Please bring restoration to all those involved, including me. Father, bring healing to this broken heart and restoration to hope and joy. I love You, Jesus. Please help me love You with an undivided heart that I may not sin against You, Lord and help restore the breaks in friendships as a direct result of my honesty, Lord. You are God and I am not. I trust in You and I love You. You will see us all through. Thank You, Jesus.
Let The Water's Rise ~ Mikeschair
Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You
Ohhh
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/mikeschair-lyrics/let-the-waters-rise-lyrics.html
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