It is inevitable. People are going to hurt you. They will fail you. We are not a perfect people. We let people down and we push people away.
I do.
This week's lesson has been on grace. And love. And guarding that precious thing called a heart. What a week. Wait, what a month. This has been one of those "walk through the valley" seasons.
Unfortunately the thing that has caused this whole valley experience is still in full swing. Also, unfortunately, there isn't a resolution.........yet. I am not sure there ever really will be, but it is hard to see it when you are the one going through it. These are the times when walking through that valley gets tough. When the rubber meets the road. When you either know what you stand on and WHO you stand for or you don't.
You also realize who stands with you. It's surprising who is there and who is not. This is where He nudges me to extend grace and mercy even if I don't feel like it. He always knows better.
He also leads me to filter all of it through His love, which is unconditional. This proves to be hard as well, but He gives me the strength and perseverance to do so.
I know who I stand for. I know what I stand on. I know that I am fighting a battle that is not mine to fight in the first place. I am done fighting. I am letting this go. I am giving it to God and I am leaving it at the Cross. I don't know what is going to happen. I have no idea what the outcome will be. All I know is that God is more powerful than even the most powerful emotions that have been brought on. He is the light shining in the darkest parts of my heart to reveal the lies that I have been letting myself believe. He lifts me up when I am weak. He brings comfort where there is chaos. He takes this breaking and hurting heart, holds it in His mighty hands and begins the healing process.
He knows. He knows all of it. He has heard the anger through prayers of frustration. He has heard the desperation as the white flag of surrender is thrown in and the fighting stops. He sees it in all tears, knowing that there is something so much better on the other side of the valley.
He sees His servant hurting and brings comfort and much needed peace where before there was none.
He knows. He sees. He hears.
He knows where you are, too. He knows what makes you laugh. What brings you joy. What breaks your heart. He wants to help. He laughs when you do. He finds great delight in your joy. He aches and wants to bring peace and comfort to your broken heart. He loves you. He loves me. Very, very, very much. He is the only true friend who will never leave you nor forsake you. He won't let you down. He won't treat you any differently whether you are by yourself or in a crowd. He will not say one thing and do another. He won't just stoically sit there and passively listen. He is engaged in everything you do. That....that is comfort.
"For this is what the high and lofty One says—
he who lives forever, whose name is holy:
“I live in a high and holy place,
but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." -Isaiah 57:15
Tonight, there is peace. A calm in my spirit that has been gone for a long time. When I finally surrendered and let God take His rightful place within this, my burden was lifted. Yes, I may have to bring it back to the altar a few more times before I can completely let it go, but the white flag has been flown. I surrender it, Lord. All to you.
Lord, may there be comfort and healing this night. May the peace that surpasses all understanding reside within broken hearts. May Your love be the embrace we need to walk us through the valley and into the light. May our selfishness be surrendered and our joy returned. We love You, Father, and leave these hurts and fears at the foot of Your Cross. Lift these burdens and restore our hope. For You, oh Lord, are Father. You alone are good. We praise You and honor You, Lord.
Amen.
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