I figured I needed to peek out from behind the curtain of introversion sooner or later. I have been hesitating because the world up and got scary in the course of a year. A lot has happened. A lot has been thought about. A lot has been angrily but thoughtfully considered. Thoughts on certain subjects have been hashed and rehashed and rehashed again with most of the ludicrous thoughts being tossed out in lieu of something called the truth. Nothing to the point of it being divisive between my friends and I, but many heated discussions later and I'm still not sure we are any closer to agreement. There is also not a lack of completely unchecked and ridiculous claims that make both sides of the aisle look, well, stupid. Hot button topics tend to do that, and as much as I LOVE conflict, I would cautiously engage but secretly berate imaginary people behind the steering wheel of my car when I was alone just so that I could get out what I should have said or what I wanted to say but felt it would have been hurtful, insulting, or completely self righteous even if my claims weren't fact checked. You know, temper tantrum style. I am a totally mature adult.
I like conversations. I like learning about people and I like varying and contrasting beliefs that make me have to think and do research and read books. You know, those things with pages bound together that contain words that form sentences and whole paragraphs. You know, books. Just in case you forgot. They also live in this magical place called the library. I kid you not. Those still exist. You can also still secure for yourself that mystical piece of plastic that grants you access to those books. It's called a library card. Those still exist, too. Tangents are fun, friends. Welcome to the roller coaster ride that makes up my train of thought. Feel free to jump on and off at your leisure.
Where was I? Oh yeah. People. Opinions. Discussion. Do we even know how to do that anymore? The art of conversation? The ability to sit down with someone else and have a chat without distraction? To listen and not just hear? The ability to agree to disagree? I see this art dying a little more everyday, and no better place showcases its extinction more than the comment sections of Facebook/Twitter/Instagram. I watched people I knew viciously attacking their friends because they voted for Trump. Voted for Hillary. Voted third party. Very public social media whippings. Very publicly being very horrible to their neighbors, their friends, their family, their fellow congregation members? Yeah, read that sentence again. Church going, God-fearing Christians just ripping each other to bits for the entertainment of the blood thirsty social media wolf pack. It horrified the right and brought evil laughter from the left. Oh, division. A solid math application, a terrible and abysmal black hole of awfulness and pettiness for people kind.
I see it all of the time. I admit with great embarrassment that I have participated in the belittling of others because they didn't think like me or have my same opinions, whether I was doing it through gossip or sarcastically placed comments....or behind the steering wheel of a car: population one self-righteous jerk. I may have not spoken the words directly to the "offending" party, but I know I said them. God knew I said them. I have since atoned for those sins, but damage is damage, and cleaning up the aftermath of a verbal fallout is much harder than tangible physical destruction.
It costs zero dollars and zero cents to be nice to people. Literally. It's free. That makes the Dutch part of my heart jump in giddy glee. If you don't get that, I'll kindly explain that concept to you later. Maybe kindly. It'll depend how I feel that day. I digress. Why is it so easy for us to just be nasty jerks than it is for us to be kind? I'm seriously asking. Why? I ask myself that question ALL OF THE TIME. Why are negative thoughts so much more populous than positive ones? Why do those weeds grow with such force in my garden? They choke out the beauty that's there and replace it with those ugly vines that climb walls and fences and constrict the part of my heart that shows compassion. Why do I let them grow in the first place? I am not a gardener. In fact, I can probably kill a plastic houseplant. I have mad skills like that. I just want to know why I don't really try to pull those weeds. Get rid of that nightshade that turns my regularly pleasant demeanor into a sarcastic moron who has to be right? About what? And why hurt someone else just to boost my own ego? Ugh. I need some Weed-B-Gone. Stat.
People are not things to be conquered. They are people. Living, breathing human beings capable of thoughts and feelings. Engaging these "people" can be a tricky process sometimes. I liken it to trying to assemble an IKEA bookcase. Sometimes all of the parts are there, but mostly you end up with extra pieces and it usually ends up leaning either one way or another. But do I throw out the bookcase? Goodness no. I paid good money for that thing. No matter which way it leans, I'm going to treat it well and take care of it, even if I can't pronounce the name of the thing I just bought. If I'm that careful with a questionably constructed bookcase, shouldn't I take greater care of the people around me? Shouldn't I be quicker to listen and slower to respond, no matter which way they lean? One would think so, wouldn't they.
I have a lot of work to do. I think we all do. Maybe we need to make a better effort to be better. To do better. To be human beings that care about other human beings because they aren't overly priced brand named furniture with unpronounceable names. They have names. They have stories. They have hurts and fears and joys. They're our neighbors and family and friends and that weird guy with all the tattoos sitting three seats over from you in the back row at church. But is he all that weird? Or just misunderstood? And could those misunderstandings be cleared up by maybe, I don't know, TALKING TO EACH OTHER? Your answer and mine should be yes. You're welcome.
All I know for certain is this. IKEA may not make awesome furniture, but their meatballs are pretty much the best thing on Earth.
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