Me?

I am a jerk.  And a liar.  I am a sinful, messed up person.
Sometimes I run down this narrow path.
Sometimes I walk it.
More often than not, though, I usually stumble down it.

God has set a plan and will in motion for me.
He asks me to set myself in motion for Him.
And I do.
Sometimes.

Not always.
Sometimes I feel inadequate.
Sometimes I let my words get ahead of my thoughts and I sound unintelligent.
Or I lie.

I mess up.  Slip up.  Screw up.
I disappointment my friends.  Sometimes my family.
Probably more than sometimes.
And I feel like I let God down.

I crawl on my hands, on my knees
Stretch my arms out toward the tree
Wondering what He will do
When He listens to how horrible I can be

"Child," He says.......
"You're forgiven."
"What?  Didn't You see what I just did?  And how I back peddled to get out of it? I..."
"..am forgiven."

Whoa.
Yes.  Forgiven.
No condemnation.  No fear.  No failure.
Forgiven.  In the process of being made holy.

Forgiven so that:
This liar proclaims Truth with reckless abandon.
This careless word abuser becomes a careful Word user.
This sinner is redeemed by a Savior.

Fallen?  He picks me back up.
Stalling? He pushes me forward.
Crawling?  He's there with me until I can stand again.
Lying?  He convicts and loves and beckons me towards Truth.

Forgiven?  Most definitely.
Driven?  To Him and His plan for me.
Focused?  Sometimes not, but it is getting better.
Loved? Unconditionally.

Does it mean this will always be easy?
No.
In fact, daily I run head on into sin.
Do I let it destroy me?  No.

Because there was One who came before me.
One who came to restore me.
Who took sin and death, nailed it to a tree
So that I would turn from sin and run straight to His Glory.

Turn from.  Don't go back to.
Desert it.
Be free from sin.
And quit living the way the world lives.

But instead, be light.
Be a spark.
Be ignited to light up the dark.
And bring hope.

Is it easy?  No.
Worth it? Yes.
And the baffling part to me?
He is using undeserving old me.

He is using me-
The liar, the sinner, the gossiper
The fearful, the lowly and lustful
The jerk, the judgmental, the user

He is using me
To show You
Who He is.
Amazing.  Dumbfounding.  Mind blowing.

So, do you know Him?
You should.
He is love.
And everything...EVERYTHING... that is good.