Me?

I am a jerk.  And a liar.  I am a sinful, messed up person.
Sometimes I run down this narrow path.
Sometimes I walk it.
More often than not, though, I usually stumble down it.

God has set a plan and will in motion for me.
He asks me to set myself in motion for Him.
And I do.
Sometimes.

Not always.
Sometimes I feel inadequate.
Sometimes I let my words get ahead of my thoughts and I sound unintelligent.
Or I lie.

I mess up.  Slip up.  Screw up.
I disappointment my friends.  Sometimes my family.
Probably more than sometimes.
And I feel like I let God down.

I crawl on my hands, on my knees
Stretch my arms out toward the tree
Wondering what He will do
When He listens to how horrible I can be

"Child," He says.......
"You're forgiven."
"What?  Didn't You see what I just did?  And how I back peddled to get out of it? I..."
"..am forgiven."

Whoa.
Yes.  Forgiven.
No condemnation.  No fear.  No failure.
Forgiven.  In the process of being made holy.

Forgiven so that:
This liar proclaims Truth with reckless abandon.
This careless word abuser becomes a careful Word user.
This sinner is redeemed by a Savior.

Fallen?  He picks me back up.
Stalling? He pushes me forward.
Crawling?  He's there with me until I can stand again.
Lying?  He convicts and loves and beckons me towards Truth.

Forgiven?  Most definitely.
Driven?  To Him and His plan for me.
Focused?  Sometimes not, but it is getting better.
Loved? Unconditionally.

Does it mean this will always be easy?
No.
In fact, daily I run head on into sin.
Do I let it destroy me?  No.

Because there was One who came before me.
One who came to restore me.
Who took sin and death, nailed it to a tree
So that I would turn from sin and run straight to His Glory.

Turn from.  Don't go back to.
Desert it.
Be free from sin.
And quit living the way the world lives.

But instead, be light.
Be a spark.
Be ignited to light up the dark.
And bring hope.

Is it easy?  No.
Worth it? Yes.
And the baffling part to me?
He is using undeserving old me.

He is using me-
The liar, the sinner, the gossiper
The fearful, the lowly and lustful
The jerk, the judgmental, the user

He is using me
To show You
Who He is.
Amazing.  Dumbfounding.  Mind blowing.

So, do you know Him?
You should.
He is love.
And everything...EVERYTHING... that is good.

So Beautiful

I have seen the majesty of the mountains.  

I have seen the colors that You paint into the sunrise.

I have seen the sun as it kisses the horizon sink slowly with awe and wonder.

I have seen the beauty of a rainbow, casting its colors during soft rainfall.

I have witnessed the miracle of spring burst forth in a mighty tapestry.

I have taken in the crispness of a serenely frozen morning, dazzling in splendor under a winter sun.

However, I have never seen anything more beautiful than watching Your children turn their hearts toward Home.

Wow.

Beautiful.

Humbling.

Grateful.

I love You, Jesus.  YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. 

How It's Done

This is Mark Driscoll preaching on dating.  It's good.  Enjoy.

http://marshill.com/media/religionsaves/dating

Qualified?

Thank goodness God doesn't call the qualified.  He qualifies the called,.

I really need to remember that.  And I need to remember that I am the most blessed woman on this planet because I get to...GET TO...work with the greatest group of kids.  I have been at my job now for three years and everyday I get to watch these precious kids grow and change and become who God is creating them to be.  I get to listen to laughter and off the wall comments and share in their joys and struggles.  I get to see that spark and the excitement when a concept clicks and finally makes complete sense.  I get to watch them discover and really find a love for reading. I get to be their librarian and remedial teacher and van driver, and for some I get the honor of being their friend.

I get to.  Am I qualified?  No.  Without His leading, I am not qualified at all.  But He is qualifying me daily.

Thank goodness.

I love my job.  So much so that I intend to continue it.  I pray God blesses the rest of this school year.  I pray that He continues to stoke the fire that burns deep in my heart for Him.  I pray He continually blesses me with the peace and joy that comes from serving in such an amazing environment.

I pray that when these kids look at me, they see Jesus working in me.

I also pray that I am never qualified of my own merit, but that the One who calls me is the One who is doing the qualifying.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." -Hebrews 10:23

Amen.

Amen

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,” Titus 2:11-12

Proverbs 4:23

I can't seem to fall asleep.  That is a problem, especially since school starts again tomorrow (technically now today) and I need to be up pretty early.

As my crazy train of a thought process kicked into overdrive this evening, one verse came up repeatedly.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." -Proverbs 4:23

This has been a very timely reminder, especially lately.  I really haven't been guarding my heart very well and have let it drift into places and towards people that it shouldn't be going anywhere near.  Such as mindless crushes. Oy.

I have to constantly remind myself that He has a plan.  He holds my future, and when I am where He needs me to be, He will bring into my life the one He has chosen for me.  For me to take that into my own hands is absurd.

Ladies, we need to guard our hearts.  We need to be careful not to read anything into the actions or words of guys.  We need to protect their integrity and ours.  We need to quit romanticizing about how we think things should be and let God unfold the love story that He has specifically written for each of us.

Let God be the dream giver, not Disney or Nicholas Sparks or (I can't believe I am even saying this) those creepy kids from Twilight.  That is not love (especially not the Twilight thing.  That's not even good fiction).  Not love like God intends.  That is lust.  There is a BIG difference.  I really think there is an even BIGGER difference in what we perceive love to be as opposed to what God actually says it is.

Singleness is not an island that we need to escape from.  This season of life is a gift.  What a better time to really draw close to the heart of the Father.  I believe as we draw nearer to Him, He draws us nearer to the one He has chosen as we both seek Him with our whole hearts.  THAT, my friends, is love.

Until then, we need to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.  Every thought.  Every emotion.  Every little romantic thought.  Everything.

Will it be a struggle?  Most definitely.  What girl doesn't want the handsome prince and the fairytale life?  I believe, though, that God's version of this "fairytale" is SO MUCH BETTER than anything we can see or comprehend, and holding out for that is absolutely worth it.

Guard your heart.  Let God's love be more than enough.

Ok, now that I have that off my mind....time for sleep......

Do Hard Things

It's the year, friends, to do hard things.

It's the year to get out of our comfort zones and go out of our way to make a stranger into a friend.

It's the year to let go of all of those things we hold onto and let Him be the navigator.

It's the year to be bold in our faith, no matter how foolish it looks to everyone else.

It's the year to not let fear hold us back from His plan for our lives.

It's the year to not be consumed by materialism but to give our time and money to those who have none.

It's the year, my friends, to stop making excuses as to why we don't read our Bibles or pray or have a solid relationship with Jesus Christ.

It's the year to stop making excuses as to why we don't think we need community.  Believe me, you do.

It's the year to take Jesus at His Word.

It's the year to stop being a consumer and start being a participant.

It's the year to get off the bench and get in the game.

It's the year to quit blaming life on others and start taking responsibility for our actions.

It's the year to be grateful for every breath instead of being upset about not getting what we want.

It's the year to be more selfless and less selfish.

It's the year to let go of our dependence on things and give it completely to Jesus.

It's the year to go out of our way for someone, regardless if it is inconvenient.

It's the year to make time for people and invest in their lives.

It's the year to strengthen our Christian community.

It's the year to stop making excuses.

It's the year to start being a Christ follower and everything that goes along with being one.

It's the year to come out of hiding and start being an active member of the body of Christ.

It's the year to know that God is God and really live it.

It's the year to live intentionally, love intentionally,  and grow intentionally.

It's the year to do hard things.

Don't worry, we are all in this to cheer one another on and to walk each other through it.  You are not alone.

Ready?

Game on.

2012...Here we go....

Well, it is now officially 2012.  It has been a great year, so far.

I went to a pretty solid New Year's party at a friend's house last night.  We played games, laughed a lot and generally had a good time.  I learned how to play a game called, "Bang!"  We also played Mafia and Quelf.  When we weren't playing games, we sat around and caught up with one another, just talking about life.  I started my New Year with almost everyone that I wanted around me to start the New Year and got to know some pretty cool new people as well.  I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else despite what the weather had planned. To me, that was the perfect way to end 2011 and to ring in 2012.

Well, 2012, here we go.  Here's praying for a blessed year.  A year to do hard things and continue to step beyond myself and work full force for the King of Kings.  Here's to forming new friendships.  Here's to deepening old friendships.  Here's to possibility and courage and lots and lots of deep joy to really enjoy and bask in each and every moment that each new day holds.  Here's to laughter and love and not being afraid of what may be right around the corner.  Here's to my friends and my family whom I love dearly and the new and exciting memories that we are going to make this year. :)   

I am ready.  How about you?