Week 1- post-camp. I have finally landed permanently in Bemidji after closing the book on the last chapter of my life in Prinsburg. The cover of this new book is shiny and full of hope and possibility. It's got that new experience smell to it. I like it.
I'm currently sitting at Starbucks on Paul Bunyan Drive (yes, that's the actual name of the street). I don't love the layout. It's way too open and not very comfy like my usual haunt, Caribou. There is a Caribou just up the street, but I thought I would give this a try. Being in this establishment reaffirms to me the knowledge that I am firmly planted in Camp Caribou. Hey, at least I tried.
I kind of like the fact that no one knows me here. I like being anonymous in a new town. The luster of that is going to wear off soon enough, though. My fall schedule isn't too terrible, but it will be busy and once I settle into a routine I will want friends and community- both of which I am terribly afraid I will not find. I can't be running back to Prinsburg or Slayton or Carlton or to the cities every weekend, so community here needs to be a priority at some point. For right now, though, I am content in my anonymity and am grateful for quiet moments to pull my thoughts together, type them out, and get them out of my head.
However, let me sell Bemidji to you because I am going to want visitors. I live in a beautiful community. From the beautiful forests to Lake Bemidji to the Mississippi River and the surrounding state parks, it is a haven for those of you seeking a getaway from the craziness of life in a picturesque setting. This place is ideal for my friends who love fall. It is gorgeous here in the autumn, and I would highly recommend you make a point to come and see the fall colors in all of their spectacular brilliance. We have everything.....lots of trails, coffee shops, places to eat, Walmart, Target...I mean, I live in civilization so we have stuff like electricity, wifi, and working bathrooms. My apartment is adorable, yet small. I can make it work for visitors, though. My landlord is all sorts of accommodating, and there are hotels in the area. No worries, friends, we will figure it out.
Here's to the opening of a new book in a new town and a new life. This was the foreward. As Chapter One begins to unfold, I'll type that out, too. God has that one written already, but I get to discover it with childlike curiosity and wonder as new experiences and new people come across my path. He has a good plan and purpose for me, friends, and I begin the process of discovering what that is. Terrified, frightened, excited, and hopeful all at once. A complete and beautiful mess of emotions all wrapped up in one Lori. A perfectly imperfect work in progress.
31 July 2018
13 July 2018
Purpose and Mission
Good morning, dear ones. I thought I would take moment to write up a quick something. This way you get an update and I get to get some stuff out of my head. Ready? Here we go.
It's been a summer already, friends. This past week was a hot mess on a lot of different levels. Cabin stuff, friend stuff, life stuff. Just a mess. That can be a blog for another time, though. Only two weeks left and then the reality of complete and life-altering change will finally set in. I don't think that I have completely accepted that I won't drive my car in the direction of Prinsburg when July 29 rolls around. So far summer is as summer has been. I finished school, came to camp, etc. The normal routine of things. However, when this "normal" part of my summer ends, I face a future that scares me....a lot. But that is not what this blog is about so I will get to the point. Next paragraph, please.
When I come to camp, I get to meet a whole new group of young adults or young adults whom I have known for years who have come back. I'm kind of the odd person out because I am so much older than, well, ALL of them. However, I think that this works to my benefit. I enjoy helping people. At camp, there is never a shortage of help that can be offered and provided when it comes to young adults trying to navigate this crazy, tricky thing called life. I was there once. I was a young adult. I remember the struggle. I'm not THAT far removed from it. I believe that God gives me this golden opportunity each summer to help where I can. Offer advice when it is appropriate, Spirit-led, and needed. There's a certain purpose and mission to it that I can get behind.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm not as done with young adult ministry as I previously thought. When I was actually a leader in a young adult ministry, I couldn't get away from it fast enough. I burned out on it and I think I finally figured out why. I was a young adult ministering to other young adults about things that I myself had not yet figured out. How could I lead other young adults when I didn't know who I was? I was struggling with life and trying to be a leader for others who were struggling with life. It was a recipe for disaster and that is essentially what it became- a disaster. I burned out so hardcore that I swore I would never do it again.
And then camp happens and I am surrounded by young adults. However, I am older now. I have a little more life experience and feel like I am better grounded. I don't have everything figured out. In fact, some days I feel like I have nothing figured out. The difference is that I know the One who does and I trust Him more than I did when I was a young adult. Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, God is bringing me back to a ministry that I once dearly loved? Is it possible that He is using my time at camp to reignite a purpose and mission that lay dormant for years? It is a possibility. I just need to get out of the way and let God have His way.
What does that mean going forward? I have no idea. I just work here. However, I do feel Him stirring up something inside of me that I haven't felt in a really long time and it's exciting. It kind of feels like going home.
I guess that is all I have for now. Still a work in progress, still moving whichever way God needs me to move, still feeling unsettled and out of my comfort zone. In other words, I'm in just the right spot.
It's been a summer already, friends. This past week was a hot mess on a lot of different levels. Cabin stuff, friend stuff, life stuff. Just a mess. That can be a blog for another time, though. Only two weeks left and then the reality of complete and life-altering change will finally set in. I don't think that I have completely accepted that I won't drive my car in the direction of Prinsburg when July 29 rolls around. So far summer is as summer has been. I finished school, came to camp, etc. The normal routine of things. However, when this "normal" part of my summer ends, I face a future that scares me....a lot. But that is not what this blog is about so I will get to the point. Next paragraph, please.
When I come to camp, I get to meet a whole new group of young adults or young adults whom I have known for years who have come back. I'm kind of the odd person out because I am so much older than, well, ALL of them. However, I think that this works to my benefit. I enjoy helping people. At camp, there is never a shortage of help that can be offered and provided when it comes to young adults trying to navigate this crazy, tricky thing called life. I was there once. I was a young adult. I remember the struggle. I'm not THAT far removed from it. I believe that God gives me this golden opportunity each summer to help where I can. Offer advice when it is appropriate, Spirit-led, and needed. There's a certain purpose and mission to it that I can get behind.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm not as done with young adult ministry as I previously thought. When I was actually a leader in a young adult ministry, I couldn't get away from it fast enough. I burned out on it and I think I finally figured out why. I was a young adult ministering to other young adults about things that I myself had not yet figured out. How could I lead other young adults when I didn't know who I was? I was struggling with life and trying to be a leader for others who were struggling with life. It was a recipe for disaster and that is essentially what it became- a disaster. I burned out so hardcore that I swore I would never do it again.
And then camp happens and I am surrounded by young adults. However, I am older now. I have a little more life experience and feel like I am better grounded. I don't have everything figured out. In fact, some days I feel like I have nothing figured out. The difference is that I know the One who does and I trust Him more than I did when I was a young adult. Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, God is bringing me back to a ministry that I once dearly loved? Is it possible that He is using my time at camp to reignite a purpose and mission that lay dormant for years? It is a possibility. I just need to get out of the way and let God have His way.
What does that mean going forward? I have no idea. I just work here. However, I do feel Him stirring up something inside of me that I haven't felt in a really long time and it's exciting. It kind of feels like going home.
I guess that is all I have for now. Still a work in progress, still moving whichever way God needs me to move, still feeling unsettled and out of my comfort zone. In other words, I'm in just the right spot.
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