I move today. I leave the safe community that I have been a part of for the past nine years and move on to something brand new. I leave friends, family, and familiarity to venture into an unknown future that pulses with possibility and promise.
I'm scared to death. I wouldn't be honest with myself if I didn't at least admit that. I am terrified of a future that holds uncertainty. Yes, I know what I am going to be doing and where I am living, but past that lives a world of unknowns that seek to demand my attention and focus. The unknowns and what if's invite me to a place of anxiety and fear, and each time I am a willing participant. What if I struggle with finding community? What if I hate living there? What if I'm not good at teaching and I completely blow it? What if, what if, what if?
In all of these concerns and questions, I forget. I forget the One who holds the stars and planets in alignment and sets them into motion. I forget the One who hears my broken whispers and feels my overwhelming fear and calms those waters so I can make it safely to shore. I forget the One who holds my future in His hands and sets my feet on the path He has mapped out for me. I forget and I forget and I forget. Thankfully, in a moment of panic, He whispers, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” A reminder from Joshua 1:9, a verse that I have anchored myself to in times of trouble and strife. A verse that I am reminded of on days of joy and peace. A verse that resounds throughout my heart now as I embark on a new journey, turning a new page in a new book and watching as the Author begins to craft this new story.
For this season, I go alone. However, I am not alone. I have a community of faith where I have found support and love over the past nine years. I have the love of my family. Most importantly, God goes before me, behind me, and all around me. I take one step at a time into a future that He has created. I may not know where the path goes, but He does and that is enough. That is enough.
I can be brave. I can be fearless. I can be a messenger of peace for His kingdom. I can shine His light in dark places. Challenge accepted. Am I sad to leave? Absolutely. Is it hard to leave familiarity, safety, and comfort? Without a doubt. Does it scare me? Yes. I once heard if your dream doesn't scare you, it isn't big enough. This one definitely qualifies as big enough.
Forward into the future, I take the first shaky step with confidence that my Father is with me. Though none go with me, I do not go alone.
