Howdy. It has been a while, hasn't it? I haven't written much of anything lately. Perhaps tonight would be a good time to play catch up. I have a lot on my mind.
Do you ever feel like you keep running back to the same valley? The same problems, the same insecurities, the same stupid issues? I do. Constantly. It's like I didn't learn the first time so I keep rounding the corner in this never ending loop that takes me from one side of the valley to the other, but never out of it.
It is so frustrating, not to mention exhausting.
He already knows that plan, though. By He I mean God. He already knows how many times I am going to pass the same old rock, the same old tree, the same old shadows before I finally learn whatever it is I need to learn from it and climb out on the other side.
I just need to be willing to throw in the white flag and surrender more readily than hold onto things that are doing more harm than good. It is so hard to do that sometimes. To let go of control. To just let things fall where they may. To come to the painful conclusion that sometimes those things that I feel I can't live without can easily live without me.
It's a process. I'm still learning.
Will there be pain? Most definitely. I feel that now more than ever. Will relationships suffer? Most certainly, but hopefully to strengthen and not to hinder. Will it change me? Absolutely. Anything worth going through is going to make me a different person. A stronger person. A closer to God person.
All to bring Him all of the glory.
So, I will continue on. Wait, haven't I seen that rock before?
